Own your own Pemberley for $300,000*

Punk, you and I both know that Lizzy couldn’t-give-a-shit-Jones about Darcy until she happened to spend a day at Pemberley.


I put it to you that we all could do with a castle or two to lure The One into our lives, and punk, do I have a castle for you.

This one sits on an estate that looks like it’s leapt out of a Hollywood movie about England.

It has the reception room for you to meet awkwardly with Darcy when he visits with Bingley to see Jane:


It has a church you can use to marry Darcy when gay people can finally get married and we’re all equal:


And finally, think of all the $$$ you’ll earn when you convert it into a hippy baby commune or hand it over once a year for The Biggest Loser or The Bachelor:


*it’s open to ‘expressions of interest’, which means there’s nothing wrong with you expressing an interest to buy it for $300,000. That’s the average house price in Cressy, just outside Launceston (in MoveToTasmaniaPunk maths).

Photos: realestate.com.au & domain

UPDATE – my pal put in an expression of interest. THEY WANT FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS.


  1. Roberta

    The title was midleading!!! Also u called Lizzy a gold digger LOOOL


    1. Cos she totally is! ha ha ha ha


  2. Katie

    Do you think I could just have the kitchen and um maybe the bath tub? And what the hell are those things on the velvet bench in the stone walled room? Initially I thought they were cash registers. After all they want a lot of cash for the place. Then I enlarged the photo and thought they were really narrow fireplace surrounds? Please help as I need to know what they are before I see if my building society will lend me the 15 mil


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