- Punks, it’s been a terrible week. Every pisshead I know just wants to spend time in a bar right now, yelling at Republicans (for Trump) and God (for Leonard) and I’m way too presbyterian to know anything consequential about alcohol. My friend Tali is the opposite of that. She’s the one cheering you on, convincing you that you need to stay out because so far you haven’t popped a single sequin off your bedazzled bomber jacket. Tali is today’s guest poster and this list is so great even I’m planning on a night on the pish instead of on the couch watching The West Wing and crying. M xx
When Mellie asked me to write about my top three places to drink in Hobart I was both honoured and offended… and, when I was completely certain it was not an intervention I jumped at the opportunity.
My qualifications to write this post: I’m over 18 I have drunk at more than 3 places in Hobart, and, I have an expired RSA so, I was once extremely responsible around alcohol.
Okay, cool, lets do this!
NOTE: Whilst I’m not drunk when writing this, my memories and experiences are under the influence of alcohol.
Do you like Pina Coladas and getting a little lost whilst trying to find a bar? Well, South Seas Cocktail Lounge is the place for you!
This little Tiki treasure is tucked away on Castray Esplanade in Salamanca. It’s a Tasmanian effort to find (read: 200m from the main Salamanca drinking district) and very intimate (read: about 18 people max capacity) but, the Caribbean and South American drinks and cocktails will whisk you away to your happy place with zero chance of jet lag. The bar staff are friendly and offer free bar snacks but, the real reason to come here is to drink the bowls of alcohol which they set on fire. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! You can order a bowl of cocktail with a burning lime in the middle which you drink through a comically long straw. The suggestion is 4 people drinking, the challenge is 2.
Photo: South Seas Cocktail Lounge Facebook
After years of denying yourself smashed avocado on toast you find yourself paying off a mortgage with your significant other whilst raising your 2.53 children. As you begin to re-read 50 Shades of Grey for the fourth time you decide to break free of the rut your are in and spice it up… it’s date night! And, there is no better place then The Glass House.
The Glass House is located at Brooke Street Pier on Franklin Wharf which means when you’re not staring lovingly into the eyes of your beloved you can stare lovingly at the water views across the harbour and watch seals fight over a chemically orange fish farmed salmon.
Plum Martinez Cocktail. Photo: The Glass House Facebook.
The decor is 1950s chic, so think Madmen minus the misogyny. The bar is as grand as a grand piano and the wine and cocktail list is extensive. TOP TIP: if you order a cocktail whilst seated at the bar the bartender makes your drink in front of you with the technical expertise, execution and flair of a principle ballerina performing Swan Lake. Drink and a show? What more can you ask for! Chances of getting laid after date night at The Glass House: 97%
Photo: Fluke and Bruce Facebook
Trust me, I know all about the internal struggle of “should I go out and drink” vs “should I stay in and drink”… so, when you find a pub like The Fluke & Bruce which offers social drinking with a homely feel than you grab that pub like an American President and you drink like a world reacting to the news of a new American president… and you drink… and you drink… and you feel a lot of feelings… and you drink.
The Fluke & Bruce is located on Macquarie Street, a literal stones throw away from the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery. The drinks are honest pub fare: beer and cider on tap, beer and wine in the fridge and a shelf of spirits. As it is so close to the Hobart CBD after 5pm the place is often filled with public service workers enjoying a knockoff drink. The perfect pub for a Tinder date – comfortable, safe and plenty of available options if he/she turns out to be a dud.
So, there you have it my top three Hobart watering holes. Honourable mentions to Frank Restaurant, Pancho Villa, The Hobart Brewing Company and Preachers.
Come back next week as I list the Top 5 Places to Drunkenly Vomit in Hobart.